By Leo Kaiyan (25S06R, Peer Helper), Meryl Lim (25S05A), Qiu Bixin (25A01A)
Your resident Aunties and Uncles are back with our Ask Aunt Agony and Uncle Upset column, this time as a collaboration between Raffles Press and the Peer Helpers’ Programme (PHP)! Ever wanted to rant about that someone you just can’t stand? Overwhelmed with too many feelings? Submit your confessions to https://tinyurl.com/RIAAUU and we’ll give them our best shot. This column will be published at the end of every month.
“RI toilets give me depression. I feel sad every time I enter and come out even sadder. It’s a very miserable place to pee.
Distressed Dixie
Dear Dixie,
As fellow RI students, we know what you’re going through, and we understand how you’re feeling.
Oftentimes, we also find ourselves asking, “To pee or not to pee, that is the question”. But when nature calls, you gotta do what you gotta do, even when the situation isn’t very ideal (which is often the case).
From frogs jumping out of the toilet bowl, to suspicious matter floating in the sinks, every day brings a new surprise (or shock) in your daily bathroom adventure.
The toilets are overflowing with problems, including the unbearable smell that lingers beyond the confines of the toilets sometimes. Just venturing into the lavatory is a saga, where you’ll be faced with broken locks, leaking flushes, or even pitch-black darkness because the lights don’t work.
So how can we make the journey to the toilets more bearable? Let’s get down to business and find out.
1) Find a favourite toilet
The general conditions of RI toilets may be dire, but finding the perfect toilet for you can turn the otherwise painful necessity of going to the bathroom into a more tolerable experience.
Just like Goldilocks finding the perfect bed, the right toilet should be fitted to your needs — ensconced in a convenient, comfortable location, not too crowded, and stocked with plentiful amounts of paper.
Discovering the perfect cubicle is like finding hidden treasure that makes the daily bathroom trips just a bit more bearable, and saves you the time of entering a cubicle, just to find out that the lock is broken.
Put simply, a go-to toilet can provide a place of solace, and is definitely essential when faced with the grim reality of our school’s toilets.
2) Go to toilets in groups
“Let comradeship and fervent hope / With one voice make us pray” (for better toilets, among other things)
RI Institution Anthem
Go to a musty toilet alone, and you’ll have to deal with its many problems by yourself.
Go to the toilet with other people? Ah, now we’re talking. When you head to the restroom with a group of friends, you can at least share the burden of your collective misery with each other.
Sometimes, going to an RI toilet by yourself almost feels like going to war against a thousand enemies with only you fighting against them—daunting, and you know you aren’t winning that fight.
When you head to the loo with your friends, you feel like you have a few more comrades fighting alongside you in this battle against the RI toilets. Although your chances of winning this battle still don’t look good, it does seem a little less daunting, and the presence of companions can be a source of comfort.
You can even crack a few jokes about the dire environment of the toilets along the way—after all, humour can be quite an effective coping mechanism.
3) Reframe your perspective
As you sit down to do your business, you look at the 4As of Helping, and it stares back at you. Perhaps it’s time to take the poster’s advice and apply the 4As in your context.
- Assess
What is the source of your discomfort? Is it the overpowering stench, or the jarring pink/ blue of the cubicle walls burning into your retinas?
Maybe it’s not the toilet at all, but the stress of grades and school that has you associating sadness with the bathroom.
That’s a sign you might be spending too much time contemplating on the toilet seat; and just like some problems in life, it’s time to get up and move on.
- Attend
Focus on things you can control, like taking baby steps to make your toilet journey a slightly more pleasant and tolerable one.
Whether it’s a small pep talk you give to yourself, or bringing a mask to help block the odour, every little step can make your experience more bearable. It’s all about picking your battles, so do assess the state of the cubicle before you enter.
I mean, who wants to be jumpscared by suspicious substances in the toilet bowl, a lack of toilet paper, or even a faulty door lock, only to realise after you’ve started your business?
- Assure
Your feelings matter. You matter.
A toilet break is meant to offer a brief escape from the rigours of school, so it’s understandable if a disappointing bathroom experience leaves you feeling worse.
Instead, try focusing on the positive aspects.
For example, you could start by appreciating the silence and privacy of the cubicle. Think of the stall as a sanctuary, a place to find tranquillity among the chaos of school life. Take your time to catch your breath (metaphorically of course – you might not want to inhale toilet fumes), find your zen, reset your mind.
Even the worst bathroom experiences come to an end; and this too shall pass.
- Activate
If you’re still feeling down in the dumps, it might be time to shift your gaze from the 4As of Helping to the RGC hotline poster next to it.
Having a listening ear can make a great difference, offering the support you need in the long term. Don’t hesitate! Reaching out can offer you new perspectives and skills to help you navigate through your stresses.
The sooner you reach out for help, the less time you’ll spend stressing out.
4) Practical Advice
Now, here are some practical tips to help you reduce the pains of your bathroom break.
Imagine queuing to use the toilet, and finally getting an empty cubicle, just to find no toilet paper, a wet toilet seat, and a pungent smell filling your nose. To avoid experiencing this nightmare, here are some tips:
- Bring your own paper
Why stress over whether the cubicle has enough toilet paper, or risk the toilet paper holder dropping on you, when you can bring your own? This way, you can have enough to even wipe down the toilet seat beforehand, and have the liberty to use any cubicle instead of having to look for one with enough paper. Bonus points if your paper is 3-ply — you are officially the superior toilet user.
- Practise your squatting muscles
Not only does this improve your fitness, it’ll also spare you from having to touch the arguably unhygienic toilet seat. Better still, you can finally use the squat toilet no one ever uses, allowing you to beat the queues and enjoy a (slightly) cleaner cubicle! As they say, every day is leg day.
- Bring along a scented roll-on stick
One swipe is all you need to block out the pervasive smell of the toilet, especially if you have a sensitive nose. With just a swipe, you can transform the cubicle into a VIP experience and now enjoy a refreshing and tolerable scent. Whether it’s a deodorant or your grandma’s favourite medicated oil, the possibilities are endless—it’s all about what makes you feel better.
Final Thoughts
As the saying goes – “Life is about the journey, not the destination.”
So, despite your reservations about using the school toilets, try to see it as just a necessary pit stop in your daily routine.
On that note, do remember to stay hydrated. You don’t want to consult the canteen toilet’s pee chart and end up thinking, as Coldplay aptly puts it, “it was all yellow.” And if you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go — nobody wants to get kidney stones.
Ultimately, it all comes down to changing your perspective. After all, we only have less than two years here in RI. But why just stop there? We should all strive to make the toilets a better place for students and cleaners alike, so let’s all do our part — keep the toilets clean, flush properly, and report any faults you encounter.
Sincerely,
Aunt Agony and Uncle Upset
If you need anyone to talk to about any issues you might be facing, do drop by My Rest Space near Marymount gate and talk to one of our peer helpers! We’re open on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 3 – 5 p.m., and Wednesday 11.00 a.m. – 1.00 p.m.
If you would like to meet a peer helper on a regular basis, do email us a request at rafflesinstitutionphp@gmail.com or fill in our request form at our website: https://rafflesinstitution5.wixsite.com/rafflespeerhelpers