By M.B. Dharshni (25S03O)
There’s a unique understanding in the way you and your best friend can casually tell each other to “shut up” or “get a life” (or something less elegant that’s better left unsaid) while both knowing it’s all in good fun.
And maybe it lies in the fact that your friend isn’t afraid to hit you with some cold, hard truths – like how that new haircut really looks – because your bond is strong enough to weather such playful provocations.
After all, we could all use a little humbling now and then. And there’s no one who delivers it quite as mercilessly, candidly, and lovingly as a true friend.
We all remember the first friend we made on the first day of kindergarten. Invitations to birthday parties and BFF friendship bracelets – these were the typical signs of friendship back then. Those were also the days where playground insults or accidental pushes were all it took for friendships to be broken; and for you to be found “unfriended” and partner-less during field trips.
But between the natural changes that come with growing up and an evolving culture of humour, it is safe to say that we have grown much less sensitive over the years. If anything, inside jokes and playful insults have become a cornerstone of developing and maintaining friendships today.
Humour Through the Gen Z Lens
Using humour as an outlet or a coping mechanism in approaching difficult topics has become a defining trait of Gen Z’s. For instance, the internet was flooded with memes and even countdowns during the OceanGate Titanic submarine tragedy. Similarly, the public reaction to Queen Elizabeth II’s passing sparked its fair share of controversy.
Whether or not these jokes are appropriate, or if comedy should have limits, remains a contentious issue. And with the vast reach of social media, what starts as a lighthearted jest could easily be seen by, and impact, someone directly affected by the crisis. After all, someone who seems like Public Enemy #1 to you is still the loved one of another.
Humour should not be used as a shield for hatred or outright cruelty. What might be a fleeting news headline for you to comment on, is the harsh and ongoing reality someone else is living through.
That being said, humour isn’t always destructive. It’s a powerful tool for starting difficult conversations, addressing taboo topics, and sparking societal change. One of the things I admire most about our generation is our willingness to confront issues that our parents’ generation might have shied away from. Weaving humour into conversations makes uncomfortable topics seem less intimidating and turns taboos into topics of discussion.
Sarcasm & Humour: The Double-Edged Sword
In some ways, jokes and sarcasm lay the foundation of many of our friendships today. There’s a stark difference in the way we would treat an acquaintance compared to a close friend. For instance, have you ever apologised to a person you accidentally ran into, before realising it was just your friend and immediately vetoing that apology?
An insult towards a random stranger would probably get you punched in the face, but one towards a friend would simply be met with an even sharper choice of words aimed right back at you. Some might also consider the degree of insults they’re willing to tolerate as a measure of the degree of that friendship itself.
There’s a strange comfort in knowing that the meaner you are to each other, the closer you are – and that the bond you share is strong enough to stand through every last joke.
But as cliché as it sounds, words have immense power. A seemingly harmless joke can feed into insecurities we didn’t even know we had. What’s truly worrying is the idea that a lighthearted comment, something thrown out in the heat of the moment, could remain in a friend’s mind long after the conversation ends. The words we speak, however fleeting, can leave a lasting impact on someone else’s sense of self.
It’s easy to assume we know how our friends are feeling, especially when we’ve shared countless memories together. But the truth is, even for the closest of friends, it’s nearly impossible to fully understand what’s going on in their mind.
And whilst I know just how much I care for the people around me, I wonder how much of my affection actually comes through in my words and actions.
How do we love others in a way they understand?
Words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and gifts – these are the five standard love languages you would have heard of before. Aside from being used as conversational prompts and personality quiz questions, these love languages represent the unique styles humans use to communicate love.
One way would be the classic heartfelt notes you pass to your friends at graduation, reminiscing on all the wonderful memories (or hundreds of insults) you’ve shared. But maybe some consistent effort would be appreciated as well.
Besides, constantly sticking to your regular ‘tsundere’ behaviours is too boring. You need to keep your friends on edge after all. An element of surprise never hurt anyone. In fact, a caring word of encouragement is often the sweetest when it comes unexpectedly.
Think outside the box; invent your own love language if you have to! (“I loved her to the point of invention.” – Dr. William Halsted, the man who invented surgical gloves to protect the hands and win the heart of the nurse he was in love with.)
Any attempt you make in getting closer to your friend is a step closer to understanding who they are; and understanding more about yourself in the process. While humans are innately social creatures, perhaps the key to forming true friendships is learning to go against human nature and become less selfish individuals.
Friendships are built from a delicate blend of sweet and spice. They dance between playful banter that makes you question whether you’re best friends or worst enemies, and the warm embraces that won’t leave your side during your lowest moments. Genuine friendships demand vulnerability: the willingness to let go of pride, take the hit in some battles, or embarrass yourself, all just to see your friend smile.
But that’s exactly why they’re so meaningful – they are the relationships that matter the most, the ones that you can’t risk losing because they’re the most valuable.
Personally, my friendships that are filled with sarcastic comments and playful insults mean the world to me. Friendships like these are a reminder that sometimes, even the most authentic connections are forged in a bit of chaos and mischief.