By Betty Ding (25A01B) and Peh Zhi Ning (25A01B)
There’s always a duo in a trio. A pair in a flush. A duology in a trilogy. It’s a tale as old as time, a fact written in centuries of narrow sidewalks and class pairings. After all, as the old saying goes, “Two’s (suspiciously close) company, three’s a crowd.”
However, this article isn’t about trios.
This article is about the critical moment, the climax, the (h,k) when y=a(x-h)2+k, when the duo starts switching jackets. Holding hands. Staring lovingly into each other’s eyes across the (similarly sticky) canteen table.
Before you know it, the duo becomes…a couple. And you? You take on the heavy role, the tough job, the mantle of a Third Wheel.
Before we get rolling, for those blissfully ignorant of what a third wheel is: A third wheel typically describes someone present with two others who are in a relationship, and is usually unwanted. Safe to say, people are generally not envious of a third wheel.
“How I cope with it? I avoid it as much as possible.”
Yearning Training Wheel
However, the Wheel of Fortune is cruel, and many find themselves befallen to this tragic fate. Fear not, for there is hope (we think). Honestly, we don’t know. We’re actually starting to doubt if there’s ever a route for escape ourselves.
Nevertheless, we have taken it upon ourselves to categorise the various types of Third Wheels and give some advice for those in need of some repair. Let’s just say it is a gift for Third Wheels, from Third Wheels.
Training Wheel
“I was around when they got together, but I try not to be around when they’re being touchy feely.”
Yearning Training Wheel
If you have ridden a bike, you most likely started your cycling journey with training wheels. You probably hopped on a bike and thought, ‘Wow! This is really easy!’
Then, the training wheels come off. You start to lose your balance and make friends with the floor. But after enough practice, cycling on two wheels slowly becomes second nature. All is well.
The Training Wheels are the best position to be in as a Third Wheel – you provide some support but can be easily removed from the situation. Some Training Wheels (like matchmakers and mutual friends) might have even helped in the forming of the relationship, thus providing a small ramp for the relationship to hit the road.
Helm
“I know more about him than I know about her(my friend)!”
Miserable Helm
Unlike the Training Wheel, the Helm never takes their hands off the relationship. As all responsible drivers do, you maintain your grip on the wheel with both hands, steering the ship into safe waters.
This title belongs to the therapist friend, the advisor, the counsellor of the relationship. Despite not being part of the relationship, you know everything (and I mean everything) that goes on on deck. Perhaps you’re gunning for a Major in Psychology. Or perhaps you’re just online at 2am on a Tuesday night.
Regardless of the reason, the Helm keeps the ship together, ensuring that it doesn’t veer into rocky waters.
Spare Tyre
“Being with them everyday is you feeling that you’re not gonna have that kind of love. Cause it’s too perfect.”
Available Spare Tyre
Just like the tyres attached to the back of SUVs, the Spare Tyre finds itself dragged along for the ride. Every up and down, every bump and pothole: the Spare Tyre feels it all. Used as a substitute only when a tyre pops, the Spare Tyre is usually forgotten and ignored.
If you find yourself relating to the Spare Tyre, you should truly consider re-tyre-ing. You should not allow yourself to be treated as a substitute. After all, all wheels have their own place somewhere. You simply need to roll away.
Rickety Old Spindle
“When will this end…”
Bleak and Bitter Rickety Old Spindle
Rickety Old Spindles have gone through it. The weight of supporting both friends has taken a toll on you and the signs of wear and tear are evident. You’re fraying at the edges and praying to be released from your burden. Our sincere condolences.
A Rickety Old Spindle is well… rickety and old. Think of a thin wooden wheel – you’re not built for this. And that’s okay! But if being a Third Wheel is starting to affect you negatively, it’s time to distance yourself.
Of course, that is easier said than done. Without you, the carriage might come crashing down, and everyone might get hurt in the end. Thus it is important to communicate, because someone else’s relationship should not be your responsibility, especially if it is being held up by a very fragile and fatigued old wheel.
Water Wheel
“I think we’re fine with it, it’s just quite funny ‘cause he doesn’t realise that we’re dating.”
Relaxed and Jolly Couple #2
Congratulations, you are one of the lucky ones! You, my friend, are an unintentional Third Wheel.
After all, ignorance is bliss, and love is blind. Well, in this case you’re the one who is blind – blind to your friend’s relationship. Perhaps you’ve missed hints that your friends are now a couple, and are just happily tagging along, unaware of what’s really happening.
Just like a Water Wheel, the water keeps flowing but nothing really gets collected or retained. The information and hints may start to be more and more glaringly obvious, yet you continue to suspect nothing. Must be nice not to know…
Sidecar
“I don’t think we have a third wheel, but more of a clique of really good friends.”
Joyful and Amazing Couple #3
Sometimes, the title of Third Wheel isn’t enough to fully encapsulate your involvement in this happy couple’s relationship. While you are brought along for the ride just like the Spare Tyre, the Sidecar finds itself enjoying the breeze too.
Perhaps you could be described as their only child. Or their family dog. Maybe even their chaperone. No matter what, the sidecar is kept with the happy couple through the process of their relationship, watching their romantic pillion ride from sunrise to sunset.
To my fellow sidecars, how’s the view?
The End of the Road
Maybe some of these descriptions hit a little too close to home, and you start to slowly realise how scarily accurate they might sound. Or, you know of someone else who would relate to these. Even worse, you’re a couple and possibly even part of the problem.
“All love no hate, thank you and I’m sorry.”
Cheerful and Fabulous Couple #1
Jokes aside, there are instances where being a Third Wheel (specifically a Rickety Old Wheel) starts to become problematic, or unhealthy even. Our general advice would be to communicate your true feelings to the couple, and if they are unwilling to consider your needs, distance yourself from them. After all, your emotional and mental health take priority.
“There are some times where I genuinely feel like I need to distance myself and I hang out with my other friends.”
Available Spare Tyre
To our dear couples, our first and second wheels, as Joyful and Amazing Couple #3 said: “Don’t forget about all your other friends too,” and always remember to:
“Please have some spatial awareness.”
Available Spare Tyre
Regardless of our feelings as Third Wheels, we have to admit that sometimes, it is truly not that deep. The game show of life can be cruel, and the odds are not always in your favour. Even though being a Third Wheel comes with a lot of twists and turns (and rotations?), maybe one day you’ll write an article about your experience.